The First Step

I haven't always been fat, and I'm not super fat now. I'm 5'-7" and I weigh 208 pounds. (yes, I know I'm really fat, but I'm in denial... OK?) For about the past ten years I've been overweight, and I'm almost obsessed about losing this weight. But the sad part is, I'm always ALMOST ready to do something about it. "I need to lose some weight, and I will... after this half-gallon of ice cream is gone." "...after Valentine's Day." "...after the birthday cake is gone." On and on and on.

Heart problems, like clogged arteries, run in my family. We get it from my dad's dad. Papaw was the only person I (as a kid) ever knew who actually had a "heart doctor." He had a quintuple bypass in his 60's. My brother had heart attacks at 37, 42, and 46. He has five stents and had triple bypass surgery on March 3, 2008 when he was 46. I had a blocked artery at 48 and got two stents on October 6, 2006. My dad has two stents.

At 5'-7" and 208 pounds, my BMI is 32.6. A BMI of over 26 is too much. According to one website I looked at (http://www.halls.md/body-mass-index/bmi.htm), only 24% of women are heavier than me! I need to face facts -- I'm not a little overweight -- I'm actually obese! And if I don't start doing something about it, it's just going to get worse. I'm 50, for pete's sake! It's not going to get any easier. My mom is now 70 and weighs about 275. That's in my future if I don't DO something and quit just thinking about doing something.

Now I weigh 208. A few years ago, my weight was around 185. A few years before that, it was around 165. Every five years or so, it seems to "creep up" by at least 10 pounds. But it's not really "creeping"... For 50 years I have eaten what I want, when I want, and how ever much I want. And this is where it's gotten me. I have to start to get some discipline into my eating.

In July, 2008, I joined Weight Watchers. I just planned on going for a few months until I learned "the secrets". Then I'd be able to do on my own. In the ten weeks I went to the meetings, I lost 12 pounds. "Hey, I know what to do and how to do it..." I said with my cheap little smile. Heh, heh, heh. So I quit going to the meetings and started saving myself $10 a week. Then whatdya think happened? Yup -- those 12 pounds raced back on!

It's now March, 2009, and I've been planning on starting to work on losing weight again. HA! I'll do it for a couple of days, then eat 4 scoops of vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup and peanuts on it before bed. I've come to realize that I can't do it alone. I can't do it unless somebody else is checking up on me. And I've got to PAY somebody to do it.

So next Monday evening, I'm trudging back to Weight Watchers with my brand new Monthly Pass. And I'm not quitting. I hope I can reach 165 pounds. And even when I do, I STILL can't quit, because if I do, the pounds will "creep" back on again.

I'm going to try to keep a chart here. A diary of my weight loss efforts. You know the old saying... Try, try again...